Empathy Does Not Mean Suppressing Anger

Anger is human. What often damages a relationship is not the anger itself, but how we express it. Amid the fast pace of daily interactions, disagreements and frustration are hard to avoid. When emotions run high, we tend to blame the other person or become preoccupied with defending ourselves. The conversation turns into an argument, and the real issue is never resolved.

This is why Capung Melajah presented the webinar Express It Right: Expressing Anger with Empathy. The webinar invited participants to recognize their emotions, express them honestly, and maintain their relationships with others through the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) approach and I-statements, which are statements that come from one's own experience rather than a judgment of the other person.

The webinar was facilitated by I Gede Supardika on June 24, 2026. He is a communication enthusiast who has facilitated more than 200 participants in various workshops at Yayasan Karuna Bali.

What makes this webinar compelling is its focus on four steps for responding. First, stating observations: describing the facts without exaggeration, for example, "the report was submitted late three times in the past two weeks," rather than "you're always careless." Second, expressing feelings by saying "I feel frustrated and anxious," so that we take responsibility for our own emotions without pointing fingers. Third, identifying needs behind the anger, such as the need for certainty, appreciation, or cooperation. Fourth, making a clear request that focuses on solutions, for example, "Can we agree on a realistic deadline and keep each other informed if any obstacles arise?"

The webinar also covered how to avoid defensiveness when we are on the receiving end of someone else's anger. Instead of defending ourselves or retaliating, participants practiced listening calmly, picking up on the feelings and needs behind the other person's words, and steering the conversation toward the question, "What can we do together?"

Express It Right reminds us that empathy does not mean suppressing anger. Empathy means expressing it consciously, honestly, and respectfully, so that anger becomes a doorway to understanding and solutions, not distance. (ry&pp)